.:Unfriendly Message:.

[This entry is meant for MJM]

Hmm somebody made a sarcastic angry note over a "friendly" message. Using words that are not for the faint hearted. Well, you can say all you want Mister. You can read my journal here eventhough you're not very welcome. See i've to delete my message board because you contaminated the board with things people don't want to read/ know. My friends have some trouble to *speak* to me because of you.

The funny thing is, you can be apologetic yesterday, full of remorse, but becomes unpredictably angry the next. This is the thing that i'm afraid of. You are a loose cannon, somebody who is unstable. You can't decide and make decision based on what you truly want, but based on your surroundings. You said I nearly killed you, the fact that you made it yourself...more than twice. Asking and pleading me to feel sorry for you. Is that it? You want people to feel sorry for you? You remember how bizarre you tried to attract my attention? Hit people here and there? Is this the man that I'm suppose to marry who posed threat to society, and maybe his own family?

What you really want, huh? Can't you make your own decision? I want to be out of your life because I chose to after so many thoughts and help sought from solat istikhorah. True, I'm not that pious. I'm just human. That's why we hold on to the basics of our own akidah. We know what we do, sins are sins but if once in your heart says you separate things away from God, then what's your akidah then?

You even wrote that I can rot in hell, that i'm Ahli Neraka. Well, can you guarantee that you're part of heavens when you tried to kill yourself twice? Oh Ho Excuse me Mister not to be rude but well, who are you to tell me this?

You know very well whats your problem. Gals never leave you, you did. Stop being so childish and just accept things as they are. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on. Stop pretending for something that you are not. Be yourself. Stop killing yourself and live life to its fullest. Stop whining but make things happen. Stop making excuses but do things without waiting for gratitution. Stop mirroring what others do but do it on your own. Stop being angry and start forgiving and accepting.

Just remember, Mister...things always come in pair.