+..Damage Done..+

Dear Blog,

I just noticed how communication can get a little too serious if one tried to hide things from leaking out. The big balloon now has already blown to pieces and all hell breaks loose. It was something that made me de-motivated and depressed resulting in my AWOL today. What must I do? They already know the big secret and I should tell them from A to Z regardless of how furious they will be. Very bad timing though cos I nearly get what I want and solve it on my own without anybody interferences. Since I am still under their care, they have the right to know e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

Since the damage is done, what now is to go through hell? I know they will dig all my past histories saying things that they assumed I did. Well, whats the point of being a 30-year old without knowing what to do, right? So they may see me as a young, vulnerable, fickle minded gal. But just let them see what I am capable of. After all, I have been living and solving things alone for the past 5 years. Why cant they see this?

B was right to not blame them. They should do what they did. But I did not get the privacy that I want and they made me feel like a stupid gal. The fact that I am actually solving it on my own did not ring their remotest idea. Bah! How hard I tell them, how detail, they will not accept it easily and still blame my past. They even have the heart to ask me to get a new brain…that has saddened me deep down in my marrow… I am stupid for believing what he (MJM) was...

So I ran away for a day to ease my mind and soul. What? Do you expect me to continue work after my mood was flushed down the drain, de-motivated in such a way? So NO, THANK YOU. Id rather go away to the remotest island on earth, not bothered to be contacted, incommunicado. PERIOD! (Better than telling people that you are suicidal so many times, but well…you still breathe this God given air, are you not? its merely say innit?)

And thanks to ALL THIS SHIT to *YOU*. Mister MJM. You made me live in hell now. They ransacked my stuff just to know what has been bothering me lately. Thankyouverymuch. What must I do now? Move to a new place and keep running? No thats what chicken heads normally do. They ran. But hey look here, I am still here rummaging through your pile of shit, even though my conscience told me a bit too late for everything. And you know very well Mister that I did not give my consent for you to use mine (my RM20 ribu), even after you knew that I was pulling off that stupid thing I did. YOU ALREADY KNEW but you went through anyhow, taking my hard earned possession for your own SELFISH use.

News Flash:
I have checked and what you said last time through your accomplice was false. You lied. On the day that you suppose to make the move, you said things which you think can make me feel sorry for you, eh? I dont care shit anymore. By hook or by crook, I dont care whether you crawl or whether you fall, I want ALL MY POSSESSION BACK! ALL OF IT! YOU HEAR? I don’t work alone, Mister. Please bear that in mind. I can even have people knocking your door (or your head) by now if I want to. it’s just a phone call away…But being a civilised, cultured and thinking person that I am, I want you to suffer slowly and surely and permitted by every single law in the country. You HEAR?

Friday came and went. I am still here waiting for things to happen (the thing you promised to do). Until I see that flow, my trump card is still at the back of my palm. In this desperate measure, you know that I’M VERY CAPABLE TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN…

So please…DO NOT make me use my trump card and DO NOT coo me to do things against my will. Cos if not me, somebody else will definitely bring you to justice. Trust me that somebody will make you feel sorry that you were even born...