.::sigh::.

Argh! whatta day to waste on weekends. Been spending most of the morning sleeping in a comfy bed at Holiday Villa yesterday. Check out a new apartment development in Sect. 19; price, location, amenities, bladibla. Concluded that it's damn expensive for a non-serviced apartment at a non-prime location, plus small size, hardly reach 900 square feet. *sigh*

Anyho, went shopping with Taro for her hostel life needs- all the rations man, can't believe it approached the 200++ figure. Shopping always make me feel exhausted and excited provided it's mine no fun if the things are not yours la. *sigh*

Today, my fave mihun sup stall close (again!), so we resorted to Odin instead for a roti canai. Wasted my day lazying infront of a TV, luckily Taro's around to cook that yummy pasta. uhuhuh...then off to Nenek's before sending her to her college.

Now. I've been wondering where is the old fak since his fon is having tonnes of problems - try to commit suicide and now Maxis' descrepancies bladibla. He suspends his account for further investigation on his *alleged* calls to nearly all parts of the world. He is being incommunicado, and I hope this will only be a temporarily basis. Hmm. I wonder where is he now and what's he's doing? haiya itu olang kan aku pun tatau cemana nak habag. *sigh*

whatever it is pun, i know life goes on. Why me, God? Why? I know YOU love me. But I dunno how long can I sustain of being me. Am not that difficult, but why in terms of relationship je, I flop and fell on my face? Kena mandi bunga agaknya. *sigh*

Bear called me to say hi. Yeah to me, he's The Bear. Eventho we're no longer in *that* kinda relationship, but hey...he still cares for my well being. The only thing now is for me to be really emotionally independent. Seriously, I must undetach myself from being too inclined with things...It's hard but I'd rather love myself more, trust my instinct more - you know that womanly instinct. I can't afford to being naive and foolish again. I can easily feel and think the opposites, pessimistic and opportunistic at the same time. I can't afford to be stupid and confused. I need divine's help to let me go tru these stages. *sigh*

Till time can answer me, let just do a fly-by. Who knows...and Alhamdulillah, God let me see the world enough to understand, to see and to feel.

p/s: Bear, i know i shudn't call u this name anymore. But you are still The Bear who provides security and reality to me. thanking you has never been enough. *never* The only good thing happening today was Bear who never ceased to forget about how I'm doing...*that* makes me *sigh* positively...