Salam AidilAdha everybody!
i feel bored today...nothing to expect and nothing to anticipate.
Thought that The One News will bring happiness to me but no-oo...instead it turned me sour. Mood swing and true blue. I hate it like this if people *tried* to say out loud on what will happen to me. what they think i'll do.I hate it if it's against what i want. I hate it...simply going home, watching dvd and just napping will make me better.
probably my monthly mood swiped me all over. probably that. i wanna go home! so lost...without this mental grip i'll fall. tried to climb up the wall but the slippery steps made me fall. was in mega fight with him. already in an edge to jump down and drown. how can we go on pushing and pulling, pushing and pulling? it's not healthy. nope. i wish he'll stop doing this being so pessimistic and full of negativity (insecure phreak!)..assuming things will be as what he said. as though it made me *happy*. i will one day if i walk away without needing to look back and regret. cos' that's only what he said it will. it would. how can one undid what they've done? just go on and proceed to next level. b.r.e.a.t.h.e
i wish i can just fly away...look what amsterdam did to me. look what KK did. i wish i'm on my long vacation. i want to be in a coma depending very much on my life sustaining machine. deep and long coma. deep and in picasso's styled dreams..jagged puzzle with disturbances...noise which i couldn't recognise. people i never met before...occurences that never happened and wierd and without interpretations. God help me sustain this being. of being emotionally stable. of being mentally rationale. of being spritually close to you. Amin...
i feel bored today...nothing to expect and nothing to anticipate.
Thought that The One News will bring happiness to me but no-oo...instead it turned me sour. Mood swing and true blue. I hate it like this if people *tried* to say out loud on what will happen to me. what they think i'll do.I hate it if it's against what i want. I hate it...simply going home, watching dvd and just napping will make me better.
probably my monthly mood swiped me all over. probably that. i wanna go home! so lost...without this mental grip i'll fall. tried to climb up the wall but the slippery steps made me fall. was in mega fight with him. already in an edge to jump down and drown. how can we go on pushing and pulling, pushing and pulling? it's not healthy. nope. i wish he'll stop doing this being so pessimistic and full of negativity (insecure phreak!)..assuming things will be as what he said. as though it made me *happy*. i will one day if i walk away without needing to look back and regret. cos' that's only what he said it will. it would. how can one undid what they've done? just go on and proceed to next level. b.r.e.a.t.h.e
i wish i can just fly away...look what amsterdam did to me. look what KK did. i wish i'm on my long vacation. i want to be in a coma depending very much on my life sustaining machine. deep and long coma. deep and in picasso's styled dreams..jagged puzzle with disturbances...noise which i couldn't recognise. people i never met before...occurences that never happened and wierd and without interpretations. God help me sustain this being. of being emotionally stable. of being mentally rationale. of being spritually close to you. Amin...
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