~M factOr a pRessIng iSsue?~

Dear Bloggie…

The M factor is a pressing issue to me. Soon enough, my best bud is getting married. But thing is, you can never choose any Tom, Dick and Harry as your significant other. It needs stringent requirements and deep and long monologues with God as man only proposes but He disposes. Not forgetting a series of seeking advises from our elders, especially my parents.

Boyfriends came and went. Thing is your supposedly “hubby-to-be” are not destined to be with you even how clicked or how you are “into” each other. We thought that he was the best ever thing happened to us, while we wouldn’t know how God foresaw that there is somebody out there who is more suitable for you (that you may not like at the first place)

As mom used to say, “good women are for good men and vice versa”…I wonder where I stand? I used to bump into loads of different guys with different characters. My kinda guy is somebody who is witty and funny at the same time. Who can guide and align me into knowing Allah. He who makes you comfortable, whom you can talk to on almost anything and whom can be your only best bud for as long as you live. Yes. I’m not just talking about “Oh! He owns a bungalow at Jelutong! a condo in Ukay Heights, drives a beemer and earning 60K a year!” or rather “Oh! Look how dashing he is with his flashing suits and shoes”. NO. Shallow women might only go for that, fishing for their money or their looks. The same principle applies when Men chooses his wife. So I reckon, women should use this principle too.

1.Religion
2.Nasab (Family Background)
3.Looks
4.Money

Yes all these factors contributed to a workable marriage where the family puts RELIGION as their number one. Marriage is a union which solemnised by the nikah, a promise not to just live together but about living together with patience and love, about how a Man being a Khalif to his family. How he manoeuvres his ship into the right direction not just through good weather, but also through turbulence and thunder storms. A wife is meant to serve as his companion through thick and thin, and to dedicate his generation of hope – his children, to instil in into their children’s mind Allah’s existence and loving his RasulLallah. Often we see parents who neglect this basic like choosing kindergarten, a nanny, their reading material and so forth.

Mind you. I was taught by my own granny I called nenek. Nenek used to petrify her grandchildren form child menaces in the house by creating and fearing “ghost” which she referred to as “momok”, “hantu”, with different “ghosts’ characters”. The intention was noble so as not to disturb the house peacefulness and not to create havoc. But does that method works? It may work, but the fear has been diverted by fearing Allah to fearing syaitan? Is that correct? Another typical “fear factor” to children is “Ha! I’ll tell your dad you did something bad today..let he punishes you afterwards!” No! I don’t think that is right..there is always a subtle but efficient way to educate and that’s why it’s important to work as a team of husband and wife. Not solely a responsible of the Mrs. But the Mr plays a significant part too! And for that, I rest my case. Not just ANY Tom, Dick and Harry..but a man with knowledge to be a khalif.

Quoting dad “Asalkan boleh jadi Imam kamu” when he gave his two cent on marriage.

~Let time decides and leave the rest to God!