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Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Nota Tak Laku dr Seorang Perempuan Best + Cool

AMARAN KERAS: Too long and boring. Might cause temporary brain numbness.

[ok. tajuk kat atas tu memang poyo pun! Itu untuk my own self confident setelah aku terasa mood aku spiralling downwards like recession and sedih bangat - maklumlah tak laku kan? Laku bila perlu jeee...haiii, nasib nasib]

If someone say something, reflect and ponder. Bak kata Bahasa Melayunya, bahasa tersirat. Kalau amik literally memanglah. Ini Tn Hj Saharudin dan Almarhum Tn Hj Zubir yang ajar aku. Kalau kita cakap and disalah anggap, maknanya something wrong with the way we say it. Communication breakdown gitu. Or else, memang dah orang tu keraih kepala dan takmo dengar apa orang laen cakap. (sebab dia rasa diri dia lagi best dan pandai) Wallahu Taala 'alam.


Maklumlah...sapalah aku kan? Dahlah kudut lagi kerepot, pulak tu baru pandai nak atur kehidupan dan kewangan. So sapalah aku kan? I'm not in the same league, lain kasta gitu. Aku ni kasta tak glemer, tak fofular, tak best dan tak cool. Suami pun belum ada lagi. Modjo tersayang yg amat sayangkan aku adalah. Sibbaik ada gak orang yang sayangkan budak mereng dan enhance the best in me. (ehem: lari tajuk, sukati aku lah)

Dulu lagilah tak dipandang dan tak didengar. Sikit pun tak heran kat aku. Tapi aku? Aku jeruk jeruk jeruk. Kalau nak diingat, hmmm bisa nanges kasik banjir satu Kuching wok! Tapi aku dah maafkan dan aku moved on. Bagi aku, maturity doesn't come with a status, rank, position or age. It comes with experiences, lesson learned and of course, ilmu. Takde ilmu bak orang buta hilang tongkat - meraba raba tak tentu pasal! Tapi tulah, manusia mudah lupa. Sebab tulah kita kena saling ingat mengingati. Once dah dapat satu, pastu stop learning puleyk. Mungkin sebab faktor lain tak relevan dan dia dah bagus banget. Tapi pelik gak bab benda benda lain mahu pulak, tapi datang satu benda terus campak lam jamban! Hmm...sabar jelah nak oi. Tak semua org tau apa itu humility termasuklah aku ni. Haih! Tolonglah humble dalam kehidupan. Susah sangat ke wahai aku?

If doing something and unprepared for the outcome (due to an after thought or lack holistical thinking)then please brace for the repercussion. Tak kesahlah apa pun.You own what you do. Tak responsible la namanya if you can just get away from it and refrain from accepting how people view you. Sometimes apa yg orang nampak and tegur tu becos they love you so much they hate seeing you say and do things that might boomerang back to you. [for this, I love you: you know who you are ;-)]

If gua tak heran dengan lu, lantak kolah nak meroyan ke, nak terkangkang ke mampuih pi mulah. But I do care how other people perceived you later on. I do care how people will think of you. I do care of how people will hold grudges against you and do the in-your-face later on. Ingat semua orang selfish ke nak tegur sebab diri dia sendiri? But I guess, I'm wrong. You don't need my care and you don't need me cos you already have *almost everything* kan? And I'm not worth anything like the others that you love. As if I didn't observed :-) but I'm cool anyway. I've been ditched so many seasons ago and I should realize by now, hidung tak mancung pipi tersorong sorong. I guess I have so much love to give although unwanted. Haiya...sian aku. Wat chillex sudeyh. Sbb aku mmg muka tatau malu pun. Dah dijanji pun aku tak tagih. Buat chillex sudeyh. Aku tak penting sebab tu ler. Lalala~@!

That's why certain things are better kept and forgive what ever issue we might have. How miniscule and how irritating. How bodoh an issue could be to how grave it is. MAAFKAN. Macam jiran dari neraka ku itu dan macam siperampok duet bernama Jowhar. Serahkan segalanya pada Allah Taala. Tak luak pun isu isu kecik tu pada kita. Apa dehal. What goes around comes around. Allah tu Maha Adil.
Forgive and forget cleanse the heart. Tak payahlah dok ingat ingat and simpan dendam, pulak tu, carik time nak balas balik. Bila dah forgive and forget, rasa ringan je nak buat sesuatu. Rasa best jok. Muka pun ceria. (aku cakap berdasarkan pengalaman kena ditched dan broken hearted for so many times daaa). That's how a better khalifah function. Aku pun cakap kat diri aku sendiri ni. That's why solat berjamaah 27 kali ganda pahalanya berbanding solat sorang. That's why lebih baik mencari guru belajar ilmu daripada bergurukan syaitan dengan belajar sendiri.

Well..everybody has problems on their own. Aren't we all selfish? Only one who aren't, remembers to think and reflect if whatever thing he does comes back like a boomerang. Be it good or evil. And the best person always think to do things that bring the best in everyone, regardless of sacrificing his own need and tak menyusahkan orang lain. [hapeda aku tulis heheh]. Bukan senang jadi Khalifah Terbaek ni. Aku komfem phail la kan.

Sometimes I wonder what am I? I used to feel so hapless and frustrated last time. My words went down the drain and I wonder why? Then I did my own reflection and that was when I realized, I didn't walk the talk and people accept those who are in their "league" and what makes em "happy". That's why kalau ikut Tajul Mulk punya teori, setiap pasangan ada tanah la, angin, air, api etc etc. Sbb, kalau api ngan angin sure lagi terbakar. Dah memang sedari azali tak ngam kan? Hehehe..So sebaik baiknya, cakap bila perlu je.

Again, Allah tu Maha Adil. Apa saja yang berlaku tu, Allah pulangkan balik in your face, Cash on Delivery. Sebab tu kita tak boleh terlalu cinta atau terlalu menyampah atau terlalu mengutuk atau terlalu memuji. Apa apapun, yang berlaku tu pun dengan kehendak Allah dan kerana Dia.

Setiap kejadian yang berlaku pada kita tu, bukan kebetulan. Semuanya itu berkadaran dengan apa yang kita buat masa lalu (kalau tak bertaubat lagi la) dan sesuai dengan kekuatan diri kita. Allah tak kejam bahkan Maha Adil lagi Bijaksana. Kalau kita tersedar kita silap, segeralah bertaubat dan minta maaf seikhlasnya bukan melepas batuk di tangga, takde remorse langsung. Kalau sabar, insyaAllah lagi besar hikmah dia..Kalau tak sedar gak, bleh wat dek je, apa yg datang pada kita lepas tu, kita tak perasan. Yang perasan, orang yang jadi mangsa keadaan tu (walaupun orang itu dah forgive and forget). Cuma dia mampu tersenyum jelah melihat kuasaNya. Manissss je rasanya.

So, pedehal. Buat chillex sudeyh wahai aku. C'est la vie~@!

p/s: I want to end this note with, "Thank you Incik Shayg, byk benda yg buat saya berfikir that the world is not about me...so I won't be selfish" So, next time pepehal saya buat dan cakap, saya akan berfikir tentang org laen juge. InsyaAllah.

Ke arah seorang Taichee yang lebih baik~@! Chayok chayok <3

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