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Monday, November 17, 2008

Think Positive!


Photo Courtesy of Aunty Zain

[emotional love song]

I was at the hospital for few days now visiting and accompanying nenek. At 81 year old, Nenek is having a bad osteoporosis. Not just her back, but her upper right shoulder that makes her unable to comb her hair or wearing her baju kurung kedah. Two of her fingers already crooked permanently and cannot be flexed at will like Kazuma Azuma in Yakitate! (go see channel 715 and you'll understand)

Nenek was admitted not because of bad osteoporosis but because she fell and broke her back at her own kitchen. I remember Nenek during her active and happy self (yes, happy). She cooked marvellous, delicious Bawean food like kelacelok (something like masak asam pindang but yummier!) sambal sayur goreng, crunchy sambal ikan bilis and even my fave Roti Canai Nenek! She was never seen to relax and to daydream but was brimmed with energy to do chores.

Nenek still thought she was filled with energy and needed to do chore. She couldn't sit tight or just do nothing. She still wanted to do her own thing even though seeing her walk was really painful to me. Aided by a tongkat, she willed herself to fetch a drink or keep her fave cucu's room tidy or you know, things that grandma always do. Although she knew it took like forever for her to reach the one minute (to us) distance.

Maybe the kitchen at that point of time was wet and slippery. Maybe Nenek lost her balance due to her bad osteoporosis. It's all in Allah's will that she fell and broke her lumbar 4 and 5. While accompanying her yesterday (I was reading at the lobby due to space constraint in her shared room), Taro reiterated that Nenek sulked big time. She said, "Why must all these people come and visit me? I'm better off at this hospital. If I want some things, I can always call the missy (or nurse)..."

Mom said to all of us during dinner that Nenek doesn't want to go home. She just shook her head left and right to say No to the doc when the he asked her if she wanted to go back. She loves the attention and pampering that the nurses and doc gave her.

You see, Mama and Abah did visit her everyday except when they were outstation. Both Mama and Abah brought her fave Fried Kuetiau or whatever dish Nenek wish to have. Abah had always reminded Mama about Nenek. That's how good Abah was (and still is) being an in-law and supportive of Mama, since Abah's own parents passed away. Mama always do her hair, cut her long finger/toenails, help her to wear her baju and have a chit chat.

Nenek lost her husband, our beloved Atuk
. Atuk was actually the Centro. The One who people looked up to. The Energy-in while Nenek was the Energy-out. I still feel that without Atuk, nenek's house is dying with energy. It looked glum and lifeless. As if, Atuk brought the whole house's energy and aura with him down the grave. Nenek had lost her tango partner, her balancer to optimize the feel good aura in the house. Her yang.

I believe in my sincerest, humblest opinion that Nenek needs companion. She was not alone at home. There are my aunt, Uncle H, her two grandchildren and a maid (who I observe frequents the neighbours/ lepaking outside/borak with Kak Sonya at my Uncle M's home). Nenek is LONELY and I know how she feels. When I look into her eyes, I cringed with sadness. I know how one feels so lonely albeit the hassle and bustle around her.

I feel for Nenek. I really do. Deep down she was no different from me. This feeling struck again right in the middle of my heart. It came when one person that I should respect as an elder "congratulated" me by saying hurtful, cynical words. As if to say, I was so desperate I needed help in jodoh department. I know I'm not as lucky as some other people to settle down with children and this person happily with grandchildren. I know my shortcomings. I was hurt last time when one person said I didn't deserve a good soleh husband with good income. As if to say, I only deserve the bad, spiteful husband. Does that person knew that what one said was deemed a prayer? I was so down that Taro cheered me up with one ayaat. Wamakaruu wamakarallah, wallahukhairul maakiriin. I still hold close to that ayaat till now.

Mama and abah motivated me this morning in the presence of both my beloved adik. They said, whatever people said to us just reply them back in good faith with words that can stop 'em dead. Like, I should reply back to that person, "Alhamdulillah. Syukran jazillan for your words. May Allah grants your do'a. Who knows your doa will be answered immediately by Allah."

Mama can always think on her feet. She's very good with PR. She knows how and when to speak with correct ditto words. She rarely hurt other people's feeling. Whatever she said, it's hard to reply with other good ones. Simply stated, Checkmate! But I'm not Mama. I think I resemble more of Abah.

But think on the bright side. Being me, I've always bounced back, InsyaAllah. Whatever people perceived badly on me, I proved them wrong in-your-face-kinda thing. They may look down on moi maybe because they know I can jump higher when I reached rock bottom. I believe in my potentials. I believe in Allah's will. I believe whatever it is that we're doing/ planning, there's not one single thing without His intervention. Allah is All-Knowing. I won't be working with my current (very proud to be one of them) organization without His Mercy and Will.

I believe jodoh is in His hands. His secret that He holds for me as a surprise. Maybe what I wished and what I thought best might not be the best for me. Only Allah holds that one little secret. He knows what is best for all his servants.

For Nenek, there's always behind-the-story that we may not know what gives. Maybe Allah wants all of us as one big family to give Nenek the attention that she wants and gives more tender loving care to. Maybe whatever Nenek's prayers are about to be answered?

Only the loner knows how lonely one can be...

Wallahu Taala A'lam

12 comments:

Anasfadilah said...

masa Ziyyad p umah nenek tu hari..

nenek terkocoh-kocoh nak tengok and hold ziyyad..

sampai tongkat nenek jatuh,nak sangat tengok cicit dia

i couldnt help myself...but nanges.

miss nenek teribbly..InsyaAllah will be coming home this coming christmas holiday.

oh ye mamalong

sabar je lah dgn mulut orang2 tu...diaorang apa tahu,tahu kata sedap mulut lemak berkrim aje..perasaan org langsung takmo jaga.

Anonymous said...

moga nenek cepat sembuh..kesiannya dia jatuh...

Taichee~@! said...

Dilot:

InsyaAllah, kita jumpa lagi masa cuti panjang tu. Apa yang buat nenek happy bilamana anak cucu dia datang dan borak dengan dia. Buat dia rasa penting dan "bekerja". Make her in the know of our whereabouts, what revolves around us. Bukan jadi display item untuk ditonton/ dibiar di atas katil. Sorry! But this is what i feel for her. My sincerest and humblest opinion sbb aku pun selalu lupa jadi cucu dia.

Bel:
Jazakallahukhaer. InsyaAllah Nenek will get her Jewette's Brace to support her bad back. She'll be up and about in no time, insyaAllah.

Unknown said...

bukan saje2 woo nak tonton..tatau nak borak ape....lg pon duk teman seblah smbil2 bace paper n mastika. hehehehe

Taichee~@! said...

Taro:

At least nenek nak luahkan perasaan kat kamula. Ala. Ok per kamu cerita apa yg ada lam mastika tu kat nenek. Nenek suka dengar pe anak cucu cerita2...

Den tak koser nak duduk atas lantai wooo sejukkkkk~@!

Ziarah76 said...

semoga nenek cepat sembuh,
jodoh di tangan Allah, insyAllah.

Taichee~@! said...

InsyaAllah...

Jazakallahukhaer :)

» NAJA « said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
» NAJA « said...

When comes to "Nenek" topik ni kan..Alahai memang hati saya fragile habis lah sis.

My nenek pun sedang sakit and dah bertahun tak boleh bangun. Ni gara2 makan hati dgn anak2 dia yang mana bila dia dah sakit masing2 lepas tangan..Except my mom and adik2 perempuan dia lah yg sacrify tiap2 hari menguruskan dia..

When u said 'roti canai nenek' really makes me cry cry cry..
Some more myself mmg duduk dgn dia masa kecik2 dulu masa my mom pegi keje..
Lagi banyak kenangan dengan dia..
Still remember every moment i'm with her
Ajar mengaji,ajar sembahyang, jemput dari sekolah, masak kan megi tumis waktu petang..
Ohhh Tuhan..

After reading the last word in this entry ni..Make me tiba2 decide i nak balikkkkkkkk weekend ni..sob sob sob

Taichee~@! said...

Dear NAML,

Seorang perempuan, amt mudah tersentuh hatinya dalam subjek perasaan dan emosi
Seorang ibu, sedih dan kecewa bila anak melawan dan tidak mendengar kata
Seorang nenek, renyuk hatinya bila anak cucu mulai melupakan kewujudannya...

Allah ada untuk melenyapkan kesedihan. Tapi sebagai perempuan yang penuh emosi dan lebih sensitif, kita perlukan teman dan pasangan. Bukan manusia namanya kalau hanya hidup sendirian, sepi sndri, melawan lumrah.

Yg penting semasa sihatnya, kita selalu lawat dan ingat kat dia, semasa sakitnya, kita jaga dengan penuh kasih sayang dan IKHLAS. Bila dia pergi dijemput Allah, baru nak sesal. Tapi apa guna penyesalan?

Sebagai anak cucu yg soleh/solehah, jgn lupa sedekahkan Al Fatihah/ niat sedekah pada arwah yang telah pergi. Dengan ini saja kita dapat bantu mereka bila mereka tiada.

Dalam waktu yang sangat pendek ini, janji Allah tetap ada untuk kita dijemput pergi dan dihitung. Mana tau, kita yg muda pula yg terdahulu pergi...

Obefiend Weiland said...

bukan patah

retak. berbeza tu kawan......

p/s: nenek cium gamba ziyad in my HP masa ziyad first lahir aritu. amat cute

Taichee~@! said...

Psst kawan.

Broken lumbar. Retak = fracture. Well kawan, aku parrot cakap mama/ nurse di sepital.
Setahu aku, mmg diuar uarkan BROKEN, patah. Tak kesahla hairline ke, major ke, yg penting org tua kalau dah jadi camtu, mmg susah nak recover.

apape pon, at least aku tgk gak nenek n borak ngan dia. Takdelah wat deq je.

Ko dah lawat nenek ke kawan nak gadoh ngan aku bab bahasa plak ni. :p

:) peace kawan

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