Got into a nice argument today. Lady Liberty vs Mr Chauvinist. He who actually cares for me before and after [dont ask]. Some kinda Big Bro cum best friend cum soulmate [dont ask] who watches my back and always ready to give a hand whenever i fall. Somebody that I can virtually share my stories, my past and my present, and hopefully my future[if that ever transpires]
Him:But the truth is I guess I care for you... bila kita ambik berat psl org yg kita sayang, kita tak boleh rasa penat nak nasihat org tu.. kita akan sakit ati bila dia degil.. tapi kita akan maafkan
dia sbb kita sayang..[awww that's so shweettt....] *smiling ear to ear*
Me: i'm in denial
me: dats y i did what i did to u purposely
me: in denial that thgs might werk for the both of us...tapi sebenarnya tak
Him : takpelah.. i understand ur denial...
Him : But wht u did to me u did to urself to.. if anything happens.. it will happen to you.
me: i'll take the risk
me: aku dah beyond broken heart dah
Him: aku tak kisah abt you moving on.. i learn to accept the fact that i have to be fair to you too... I'm just dissapointed when u dun listen to me anymore.. i was advising you to be careful.. to be picky so that chances for you to be acquainted with good guys are more than bad guys
me: i am being picky
me: not rushing things too fast
Him : kau bukan tak ada akal.. kau degil...kau lagi panjang akal..
me: degil..that's correct
me: typical me
me: but i can melt down if you use correct ways of talking to me
Him : u can't expect me to say the right things everytime..
me: u talked to me like i'm some kinda dumb ass
me: wic i hate
Him : im just human... u tolerate my cynical advices, I tolerate your snappy retorts... that how ppl make things work out even if they argue
me: sometimes ko kena tone down a bit,
me: sbb ko cynical sangat la yg buat aku snappy gile
Him : i know u are not dumb.. if u are dumb i wouldnt have liked you..hehe
Me: u like me becos i yem sexy...
Me: if not ko buat dek je
Him : and i wouldnt have to be cynical if u'd say.. 'ok... i'll think abt wht u say before i decide..'
Him : sexy? eleh pasaaannnn....
me: tapi cara kau mcm aku ni budak la
me: aku tak ske
Him : well.. real men mmg mcm tu.. they treat you and pamper you like a child.. its up to you not to be a spoilt one. Give in to them just to make them proud... let them be responsible for you when they want to.
Him: kalau kau boleh sependapat dgn aku abt things that concern ur safety and integrity, maybe u wont feel like im treating u like a child
Me: typical sexist
Him : i really have to go lah.. its almost two dah ni
[speechless...]
susah betol to live life like a single-not-so-young-malay-woman [ how issit anyway? ]. people do need to be pampered sometimes and to be the centre of universe of their loved ones. but they need some space too, right? especially when they have no longer 100% related emotionally to that someone. not everything needs to be shared, kan? ye ke? But my parents don't hold any secrets with each other. They still hold each others' hands in public [ wic came to me as an embarassment sometimes, proud sometimes - well they are a sweet couple ] knowing that both of them already aged 50ish.
Mama and abah will celebrate their 30th anniversary this year. Imagine that! Mom got married when she was 21 years old [i was still a nerd at uni, at this age], dad then 22. Dad struggled hard to make ends meet for mama and the coming of their first born child. He used to work with LLN (now Tenaga) as a technician. Studied his STPM in a nearby peaceful surau (as both auntie Enon and uncle Man - both in their young age, are ardent fans of Baycity Rollers? rock fanatics - they listened to that music in full blast, now i know where does *that* trait came from, hahahha).
Abah came from a family of rubber tappers, and Mama came from a Ketua Kampung family. Totally two different worlds, but eventually they got married. Definitely Abah struggled hard for his family to live in comfort. Abah was accepted as an Economics undergrad with his STPM results. Mama [ due to her heavy resposibility as the 2nd big sis <---1st kaklong was the Big Boss, can't proceed to tertiary ed, so she had to abondoned her dream] who helped to support our family when dad was in uni, learned to drive and helped Abah to run errands. They supported and complemented each other. Then when Abah completed his degree, he was accepted as a trainee in where he works now [yup. loyal dad]. He was chosen to fly to Japan as a requirement for his probation.
Abah left Mama and his two cute kids [ u should see our oldies photos ] for few months. So, Mama had to take charge of providing for the kids by working in a nearby company to do accounts. 30 years later, 4 out of 5 of their kids hate accounts ehehhe.
But hey! at least all of us made our Mama achieved her abondoned dreams more than 30 years back. Thanks to Mama and Abah for their love, affections, dedications and non-stop teachings of life (this one will never ceased as long as they live, and will be our heirloom for years to come).
The kids, 1 with BSc with Honours ( 2nd class upper), 1 will be graduating in Biotech this year, 1 is still juggling time with galfwen, 3-D art, and civil engineering studies, 1 is doing well in ICT pre-uni, and 1 is an all rounder at school. Meanwhile, in KK, Mama is doing great as Home Affairs cumFinance Minister, juggling her time supervising Kak Piah doing house chores (except cooking), pedicure, massage, spa, facial treatment, excelling in bowling, badminton, an active VP for her women's society, The Best cook a family ever had, a good PR and good neighbour. Phew!...and most importantly, a great wife and mother!!
Abah is counting days towards retirement, even though he is still a busy man who commutes from KK - KL nearly twice a month. Abah is the breadwinner and our strict disciplinary teacher. [ i remembered Mama who pampered us with modern toys like Lego, magnetic drawing board, ladybird and Enid Blyton's books, game & watch bla bla, while Abah straightened our disciplines with *trust me* loads of things and ways, he was so-oo garang when we were kids - Mama the modernist, Baba the conventionalist]
Look at them now... both of them have loads of sense of humours. Abah has changed from a garang Mr SB (known to his colleagues and sub-os) to a mellowed Mr Cool SB, ehhehhe. I'm so glad and so proud and so happy to have them both as my ayahanda and bonda. Yup. everybody loves their parents. i can't seem to get enuff of their love (maklomla ada 4 org lagi adik badik - helleh baru 5 nak kecoh!<---ini namanya monologuing). Maybe that's why I'm reluctant to settle down quickly. hmm..sometimes I wonder, can i be loved like that? but again after a few monologues, can I be like Mama? somebody to give her man the back bone, the tulang rusuk so that you'll be close to your man's heart, you know? argh! been monologuing again! bah~@!
Special note to ayahanda and bondaku:
Happy 30th Anniversary!! Love both of you, semoga senantiasa dirahmati
AlLah dan dimurahkan rezeki. Semoga jodoh mama and abah berpanjangan hingga membawa ke syurga, Aaminnn
errr..nak ikut gi Turki., bleh? muahahhah <---ee tak malu
before i start to talk craps again, i better stop. now.
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