9:16 p.m.::
reached home after a good race with a bloody proton, via Jelutong - Sg Buloh - Kepong byway. a good one as i remembered the curves really well...ahahha..lucky he doesn't fall into any pitch. Anyway, today i played really hard.. good 8 games. Funny i don't feel tired..more energetic i guess. I haven't had my dinner.
[100 plus]
Just a 100 plus provided by a good friend of mine, tsank kiuk, arigato..dat really kept me going...! beat Abg J n Farina 15-6, 15-2 eheehe but dissatisfied, they wanna rematch, which we lose 13-15, 12-15. ahaha nemind dat! i jump smashed the old man really hard at his body..a fortunate smash right at his torso ahahha! and we beat a good ass of Zul..Pak Sahak pun..hehhee..P.E.A.C.E Farina!! it was just a game..waiting for RH to ring..but that hope faltered..i waited n i watched Malaysian Idol..these people are good, man! really good voice! unlike the pretentious juries of AF! bloody stoopid teenagers who voted wrong people for that kesian votings! WTF?
Then i thought...Charmed is airing now at NTV7..but it was Iron Chef 'stead. I love the Germany cook. deep down i know he'll win. turn on my YM and ask wheather F is around? yeah i hit the bull's eye. we chatted n played that lousy game i lose...the fast word or something? what to do? with this reliable laptop, i'm struggling using the "punat" and A & S keys..and 'course the left n right cursors shite! where was the good ol mousie? it's clocking 12:20 a.m.my eyes are beginning to betray me. alone at home feeling nuthin but tranquility...or issit loneliness?
i miss my dearest mama..and abah..and Fiqa..and the dreamy town of KK! i dreamt of having beautiful kids...but the fact of that phobic feeling! had a good "talk" with Zed. I can't really settle down as yet. he deserves someone better..not me..i just feel unsettling...i just can't let go of my past. deep down only God knows...and he can't blame moi to seek n befriends who ever i like..i need my space..i need my rhythm..i can't be bothered by reporting to people who is not my fiance, not even my hubby. i can't be bothered by jealousy and "some" kind of control..only that he needs to understand me..love me tenderly and some level of thinking, 'cos i love conveying, asking, exchanging, talking about loads of things..be it politics, be it TV, be it car modi...anything that i think i wanna talk about
[..Depressed F..]
F was depressed. pray tell she doesn't do any stupid things..hope for the best for her. i miss sutun & kay..pity them both. pity sutun for being an outcast if she marries abg. sutun is my idol for being who she is. strong, soft spoken, charismatic, trustworthy..she's my sister. my Big sIsteR. i luv her..My night life clubbin was so yesterday (yeah like 3 yrs ago?)! yeah...i admit i was crazy, naive KLite.. but all that taught me on hipocracy..pretenders..well..we have choices...so many choices; so i chose other activities like rock climbing, mountaineering, movie watching, DVD, lepak di rumah... fortunately, I love myself by not succumbing to any alcoholic drinks. i still love my body. dats why i quit smoking long time ago..not really "smoking" as in inhaling but "pretending" i noe how to smoke..made an impression? naww..it made me look like a fool..(this is what i think for ME). say taK naK!!
so this is a story of my Friday nite. reaching that griping age of 30 (ahuh~ years to go! I'm ole), i need a companion..a significant other, my life partner...somebody who is greater than i am. somebody who can be my "imam" ~ a leader..who can really "see" me and not a typical sexist who says women work at home and take care of the offsprings..not a typical men who are insensitive, arrogant and egoistical..naww...my kinda man..is sweet, simple but afraid The Only One up there..besides having a stable income. hehe...yeah... i wonder is he lucky or i'm the luckiest gal ever?
~ rambling about Fri nite alone at home
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