+..Xpected!..+

Apa yg expected?

Well I've been waiting for this news to come.

2 weeks before, I told Dilot that I dreamt that two big snakes are entering the house and that Abah can just act coolly as if nothing bizarre about them entering the house. One big white king cobra and another one black. I tried to kill the black one with a shovel that looked like a big fork! But tak boleh bunuh!..The best part was, Dilot and Piko mcm seronok sangat nak main ngan ular tu! Sampai aku jerit, "Dilot! Piko! Be careful!"
Then terus terbangun tidur cos I heard myself screaming in my sleep!

When I relate this dream to Mama, with one broad smile she said:
" Memang betul la tuh! Ada ular nak masuk tak lama lagi..."
And rupa-rupanya after they came back from Penang, my parents dah jumpa bakal besan!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen,

My 1st baby sista is going to be betrothed to a chap like my name, Anas from Penang. Eheheh how ironic! My dad was hoping I could settle down before his retirement (next year!) but well, I can't simply choose anyone because of this pressure, kan? Since Dilot already has someone, then why not? Proceed jelah!..

How do I feel?
It doesn't really matter, does it?
Am always happy for her. If Effi also has somebody like Siti Fatimah...so in two years' time he'll be next. Then Taro, perhaps...

I know I can't live to my parents' expectation. I can't just simply marry for that JUST BECAUSE. I'm unable to fulfill what my parents want of me. Always the Black Sheep. I know how ecstatic my parents were when they got a call from their future besan that the rombongan will come on April 7. Imagine the kelam kabutness...

That particular night, when Pakngah n Makngah came to the house to discuss on the acara-acara of the engagement, bladibla...I was in my room. Having a long, deep thought to myself. No. I'm not jealous, in fact I was relieved that Dilot can fulfill my parents's dream of having a son-in-law and future cucu at last! She will have the honour of the FIRST MARRIAGE. She will have the honour of having that special room downstairs once married. In fact I have to make way for my temporary pinjam master bedroom upstairs for the Acara Cincin for the makciks. My own stuff (hiking bag, tonnes of books, bladibla) will be thrown at my higher cabinet or Effi's room (sorry! Mom's order, Effi).

I am thinking of buying my own house anyway; Live by myself. As I'm much comfortable living alone, even though I'm quite attached to Piko. I know sooner or later I have to move out. Will have a Total Independent like I had before. Long before my parents moved back to KL. Long before Dilot live by herself now. If possible, if my rezeki is opened anywhere else, I'm hoping to be posted far away from KL, like East Malaysia, or overseas.

Merajuk?
Maybe...because of circumstances and because of the "stigma" among the makciks.

I just got a text msg from an aunt, "Anaz, bila lagi?"
Don't you just hate it? This is a NO-GO area. Why can't they be more sensitive and understanding? Instead of asking that farkin stupid question, why don't they bother to introduce me to any available man? In PROPER! Not merely jesting...Bah! Hate it and NOW I'm thinking of going away for good. Away from what I called The Malays Stigma.

Its a sin if you're still not married. Its a sin if you're married, but you have no child yet. So there will always be that stigma, people has mouth that is unstoppable. They can say what they like, regardless of what the intended person feels. Mengumpat la org Melayu panggil.

If any of that insensitive makciks ask that NOGO question again?

Look, makcik. Why not instead of asking me when, you introduce to me any available guy. Not too shabby, just Ok enough. Doesn't have to be rich or educated. Doesn't have to be good looking , ok looking for me is Ok, but most importantly one who can guide me to be a good muslimah? How about that? I make a deal with you. If in case anything happen during my marriage life, could i make yourself liable? So makcik, can you accept this deal or not?

If you don't then STFU!!

Muahahhaha....

Oh! I wish...